._. i thought it was saved. -.- now everything's gone cos my html can't be accepted. ):

Yobusayo, :D

basically whatever that just disappeared is now gone cos i cannot remember much of what i typed. )): So, i'm loving the titile so much but i can't add the'<3 4am.="" afternoon.="" an="" another="" best="" blog="" body="" but="" by="" came="" clock="" do="" down="" episode="" ever="" far="" feel="" final="" forget="" from="" future.="" have="" hm="" hour="" hyun="" i="" in="" is="" it="" its="" joon="" just="" kdrama="" kim="" lest="" love="" min="" much="" my="" now="" of="" omg.="" ou="" p="" so="" soo="" star="" stars="" the="" theoretically="" unearthly="" was="" watched="" weird="" who="" ytd="">

Back with a new blog post. This blog is almost dead with no viewers but it's okay. Ah, so got back my o level results. Did I blog on this before? Idk. No what I had expected though. Expected more. So next was to choose what course to take right? Think I posted about this but nvm, I'll just go on. Got into biomed in Tp. Initially I wasn't that satisfied so I went to appeal like after a two days? Had to think really hard. So in the end I decided to appeal and got accepted by yishun. Next thing I was told to do was to go tp and withdraw from there. did so and regretted in the night. (After some opinion) left myself the weekends to think about it since I had till monday to accept the offer. Weekend was sucky cos I had to worry about my course. Friends and relatives also had different views of both and provided me alot of advice. Thanks so much. Been so troubled and confused. Came up with pretty much reasoning for myself. So now I'm back at tp, after I withdraw my withdrawal form. Sounds funny eh? I was hoping I will get a clue on my future and life's purpose from God  but no, it didn't came at all. So I guess me being able to reverse my choice and head back to poly was somewhat planned? I will do well! :) poly is less stressful for me, even though biomedical is bound to be stressful. I have somewhat always been interested I'm medicine, saving people. So I will put my best effort forth! hm, I guess in some way I have disappointed some people, not listing names. All I can say is I hope you'll support my decision and you'll will never know how troubled I felt about choosing from both. Thanks I know you meant well and want me to stretch to my furthest potential but honestly I really disliked the Sec 4 lifestyle and imagining 4x of this would be madness. Well, it's true this determines my future in some way but it isn't the end of the world. Sorry for my indecisiveness and the trouble created to bring me specially to go apply for JC and withdraw from poly. also, poly is like specializing already unlike JC Which is more broad base and I can choose to specialise after A levels but I don't have much confidence of doing well. Yes if I'm willing to work hard ofc There's a way of doing well. But there are also other commitments I have like piano. moreover I have a feeling I wanted to appeal to jc cos I saw so many of my friends entering and so I envied them and probably I was stuck in the believe of wanting to go to a JC previously. As the Chinese proverb says,  行行出壮员 so no matter where I go I'll excel. As for general knowledge wise I'll try to force myself to read up more to stay updated on current affairs cos I'm not taking GP. Can't imagine I actually teared several times over just making this little life decision. Guess I'll have to work on managing my indecisiveness. POLY wouldn't start until April so I still got time to look for a job or focus on piano since my friends are mostly going to JC. There's a bunch thats heading to poly too ofc. Till then, here's wishing all the best to myself and the rest. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR. Realise it's only 4 days left to the end of it but it's ok. Better late than never. :B

Hey all, (or myself)

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Happy 2014! :) let's make this year an awesome and fun filled and meaningful year. I pray to do less stalking on twitter, Facebook and even instagram. They don't affect me in any way or Another by not reading. It's nothing but poking your nose into people's affair. I shall post my 2013 year end holidays if I can soon.

So, decided to blog cos I'm waiting for my hair to dry and I needed to just share some of my thoughts and feelings.

O LEVEL RESULTS COLLECTION.
Yup it came, after the long wait. 13Th Jan 2014. Cut the story short, I got 15 for L1R5 and 12 for ELR2B2. HM, personal thoughts, Last expected grade though. Targeted a 11 and hoping to hit 14 maximum. Hais but what's done can't be undone so I'll just have to accept it in silence. Disappointed with my performance. I bet I disappointed my teacher as well. ): family seem ok about it but probably they would be happier with better results. I mean, who won't?! I went for nyjc openhouse yesterday together with tpjc. Ny was like so nice and huge and happening and perfect but sadly I felt so out of place cos I definitely didn't make the mark. Just thought I could visit and see how great that school is. Was feeling so sucky and dumb for not being able to enter it. And ofc my standard for jc was pitched too high cos I went ny before tp. Had this kinda weird feeling when I was on tp. Was telling myself maybe psychology would be a better option. Happening day out with rebekah and her friends, yu chen and jason. Korean bbq lunch and library as they studied. What a great thing to have such friends. #Fagirl

SO, WHAT'S NEXT?
I feel really fortunate to have so many people around me wanting to advice me. I feel kinda pathetic not having a choiced decision. All I know is 'idk'. Dk what i wanna do in poly, dk if I can manage well in jc. Honestly I don't mind taking a levels but I worry of the stress level and also question my capability. Mama Papa keeps advising me to do something Which is not that taxing on me. Also no idea what combination I want to take in jc. Hais, loads of hw to be done. Visiting more jc later on. Sometimes I really feel so useless cos I can't make up a decision myself for MY own future. ): and I can't justify and convince myself why I want to go jc. The exact reason. ): seems like my life up till now has been puppeted by people and not myself so i somewhat lost my faith in myself and also have no slight clue on what i truly want to do.

Grocery shopping at ntuc just now gave me time to reflect on my shitty ass results. It's damn stupid, I feel so lousy. Always being stucked in the middle, mediocre schools and not improving. D: while there are people who are constantly improving themselves. my faith to do well was so small That's why it didn't came true. all of thoughts of wanting to be the top scorer was just plainly mentioned but not placed into realistic actions. ): hoping to change pretty much this year. I need to start to think more and also be more determined. I Must study real hard for tertiary education despite anywhere I go. Care less about what people might think. Learn more, make full use of my time.

God bless
Rachel Tay

RED CAMP 10

Had the very strong urge to update my long dead cum not visited blog cos of the recent camp I've attended, it's none other than the MOST AWESOME, AMAZING, MAGNIFICENT, SUPERB, CRAZY,ENTERTAINING, LOUDEST camp that 'fun' would not be able to be used to describe. ;D

It was really really an enjoyable camp from the 19-21st November, great dates, after the stressful O levels that I have been working hard on since Sec 3 that caused me to somewhat lose my life just practically studying, (maybe not that serious, just exaggerating) hahahah. but about red camp being beyond fun ofc I'm 100% genuine in what I say. So, it all started with my sister recommending me to go for this camp she attended a year ago. This year again, she was the one who told me that the registration has begun and that I should hurry sign up before the slots are gone and it's no longer open for registration. Ah, thanks sissy <3 came="" come="" font="" me.="" nobody="" then="" to.="" to="" was="" who="" willing="" with="">

i remember registering for red camp for myself then zhu qian cos she told me she had problems. let's not care about my capital letters cos it isn't English lesson. SO. O levels and shit went along.


Prolly a month or so before red camp, my schoolmates around me that registered all received their camp kit (as shown)

 

The photo quality is kinda bad./: transferring is troublesome so oh well. Yup, i didn't received my and in the end i ended up writing the committee a really friendly and nice email stating i haven't received my camp kit. And yup after it all i got mine sent to me. WOOHOO. :D

 

Fast forward to the first day of red camp. --> :) Took the shuttle provided by ngee ann poly at Hougang with Zhu Qian and we took the 7am bus. We reached NP at like 7.30. HAHAHHA it was like AN HOUR earlier than we were supposed to be at the Convention Centre. (CC) So we headed to the foodcourt near to the school of film media studies (FMS) if i'm not wrong it's 'The Makan Place' or smth. wait let me check... yup it's correct. i think it's just the 'makan place'. it's basically koufu la. hahhaha. so we just sat there to 'rest' cos we were rather tired and all. i ended up texting and fiddling with my new Samsung note 3 phone while we waited for Gigi and Juan Hua. We left shortly after to the CC to get registered and all and i remembered how anxious and excited i was upon stepping in cos it seemed so fun. we were then ushered to the Vikings meeting area to sit and was told who our sub tribe leader was; Sonia. (: We were assigned to sub tribe 2! myself and zhu qian. gigi and juan hua were both late. later khadijah, joshlyn, si yi, Beatrice, Yu Juan and this other girl from our school came. supposedly same sub tribe but then after that they changed to some other sub tribe. Gigi and Juan Hua sneaked to get to our sub tribe while we made our way to the second level of the CC. So i was kinda feeling lost and no idea what to do cos i felt like the odd one out. Then came the cheers. first cheer we learnt was the Vikings oi cheer. ;D i missed red camp so much that i typed the cheers in my phone so that i will always remember it. hahah. after waiting for what i thought was like decades, the programme started with the Sandart and the skit. WOAH THE SANDART WAS SO AWESOME. kudos to the artist, the details were really there and the different mascots of the tribes seemed FLAWLESS. Next came the skit which was amazing too. heh. the queen, her son which was an indian, (not meaning to be rascist in any way) then the warriors who were sent to hunt for this 'witch' which the queen read that was gonna take over her kingdom. next came path of discovery where we went to School of Humanities and Social Sciences. They had a puppet show that introduced the different courses. Psychology was part of (HMS) too! (: went for a talk where i saw like 2 seniors from kcp. my rather good memory of knowing people that didn't even know me. HAHAH. Received the chicken pie from polar puffs and cake and this really cute sweet.

 

 

SO CUTE. Panda is the mascot of the HMS school. (: don't think i'll bear to eat them. Next was the FMS school. Saw Irwin, formal church friend and Nadine, my GB senior. ^^ after the tour, the FMS students did their cheer which sounded really cool. Next was lunch, so we went to the place above the makan place to have lunch. Pasta, fries and this steamed fish with some white sauce over it. the fish tasted not bad but the pasta was kinda bland. there was mango pudding as a dessert too! Befriended a girl named Kailin during lunch. She is so brave to have stayed in this sub tribe even though her other friends are in the other sub tribes (Y) Learnt a new cheer and had the time to speak to my leader, Sonia which was sharing about her experience in red camp and course and all. Got to learn a new cheer that goes

SLs: I

Vikings: repeats

SLs: I BELIEVE

Vikings: repeats

SLs: I BELIEVE THAT WE

Vikings: repeats

SLs and Vikings:I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN (x2)

TOGETHER: We are the Vikings woop, the mighty mighty Vikings woop

Burn~ it's cold in here. there must be some Vikings in the atmosphere

Burn~ it's cold in here, we are the Vikings in the atmosphere.

then i can't remember >< hais. ):

 

After lunch we visited the school of life & health sciences where we visited the various places like the school of optometry, where we got to see the eye and learn that the eye ball isn't just that round black ball. then the eye pressure which required this probe the seemed really scary as it shoots the sensor of whatever into the eye. Our dear Jeremy the SL tried it haha. and ofc exaggerated it being painful. got to experience a child labour ahahah. ofc it's fake. but it was really an eye opener for myself. then came the mock operating theatre, the ICU and all. it was all mock but looked real and the students kept claiming that then was the only chance we could actually do certain things, like reviving a patient with those shocks they do in shows. HAHAHA. next studying the human body parts. just touch those models. the talk by the Caucasian lecturer was so fun as he had a lecture on liquid nitrogen which ended up with experiments with liquid nitrogen. also, he was entertaining which made the talk enriching and exciting. dk which talk we were at and then this SL called my name claiming he knew my name, haha it was cos it was printed on my shirt. but he was sharp cos i guess he was the only one that observed it. he's cedrick(?)so fail dk how to spell his name. more stations of the different courses and we got to learn the Charlie angels clap which is so legendary and cute. Tonia, vika, gina, CHARLIE! then back to CC to learn the mass dance. was shifted up cos the sub tribe 1 members didn't have enough space. so i sat with people my tribe but ain't friends yet. So i had no partner to dance that duo dance. ): then Cedrick offered to be my dance partner and i was like a little awkward but hey it was fun. HAHA Jeremy was like saying i didn't danced with him cos he was alone too. HAHA. shy shy. then after that they paired my with Chin Cheng so there goes Cedrick. hahah. but Chin Cheng was a good partner too. heh. thereafter it was the end of day 1 and me and zhuqian took the shuttle back to clementi and took a few pics cos we realised we didn't take pics.

 

 







 they are a little dark haha. i like the wink one though. ((: WOAH SO LONG JUST ENDED DAY 1 PHEW PHEW -sweats sweats- hahahahh. I was so proud of my ootd so i got chloe to take a pic. hehe

 

 

it looks so small but can see la, haha. green hairband, green tee, green bag, green boatshoes and green watch. (x Green is the Viking colour, so i'm prepared. ^-^

 

DAY TWO was missed cos no one wanted to go with me cos of prom in the night and moreover they were giving out shirts in afternoon. woke up super late too. Red camp more fun than prom honestly. #forever alone.

 

YAYY finally DAY THREE !!! :D Met ZQ at 7 at the shuttle bus stop once again hoping we were able to get our shirts and change into them if we're early. reached at 7.30 again hahaahha. first two campers to reach the CC i think. HAHA and the SLs were already there. really wonder what time they were supposed to report and the amount of sleep they actually have. And i think Brendan the CSL was asking how was prom and all but i agreed that red camp was much better. AHHAH. AND THAT CHARLIE (Jeremy) forgot us from his tribe /: Jeremy was telling my about Psychology in NP and all and invited me to join the sit in lessons in dec and registering for me, ty ! (: Sonia collated ours shirt sizes so that we can collect our shirts too. perks of being early, hehe. slowly the crowd started rolling in. To the CC we all sat on the 1st level without the retractable seats. Skit kept us in suspense but i missed the one in day 2 ): i felt like i missed out on a lot that day. later was CCA tryouts. we went to bboy where we learnt some moves, freezes which were rather cool. (: next was MUAY THAI. ZQ was my partner, she's a man, so strong. i didn't really want to use force to kick or punch her, idky. hahahaha. after that came percussion where the 4 of us chose drums and learnt and eventually played the 'lepak song' hahahha. TOO COOL FOR YA. last came the japan cultural drums. had games too, to hit to the beat and move to the right after 8 beats. direction changed too. dear JEREMY was warning his group not to play wrongly but ended up being blur and became lost, hahahahah. Charlie oh Charlie. lunch was at the Vikings meeting area we met in the morning.

 

 

decided to take photos today cos it's the last day of red camp already and i would act as part of memory as i walk down memory lane in future. rice, fish, ngor hiang and long beans. (: after lunch we headed back to the CC for the performances. haha i was hinted by Sheng Rui in the morning that michelle chong was visiting red camp so yeah first hand news. so it was michelle chong in RED CAMP WOOHOO.

 

 

don't mind my picture quality, zoom in with iphone spoils the resolution. and there's Matthew this really cute and charismatic emcee from red camp always doing the RED CAMP cheer with all the campers. haha i have been thinking he looks like Ji Sukjin from running man hehe. but the younger and handsome version (: Michelle Chong was there to promote her 3 peas in a pod movie i'm anticipating to watch. ;D Next was Jean and she sang skyfall and good girls. Jean was the second runner up in the Final One the competition which occur this year and a NP alumni! (: she was also an SL for #redcamp 7,8,9. So devoted!

 

 

i sincerely apologise for the bad quality. although i was sitting rather close to the stage. hais hais. after Jean was J&R (Jack and Rai) who played guitars and sang one song and some nights by FUN. :D Last came micapella which created music just with mics no background music. awesome!! they sang hall of fame and i'm yours. roar bump isn't working. x.x i need pictures please i'm ending please!!

 

 

next up was the student leaders items. all the student leaders were awesome with their performance following a hashtag. Vikings' was #Asian i think. i'm sorry my memory is really bad. best thing was that all of did an encore for us. THANKS SLs! :* air kisses to all of you. thanks for your hardwork to make red camp such a success and enjoyable camp!!

 

 

 

am loving the pano i took. (: the last picture is random hahah. thanks camera man and check out those huge red balloons! (: Okay at this point when they sang Everyday from High School Musical i teared. Can't believe the bond between the SLs and myself were so strong even though i don't know most of them. i experienced guy SLs crying too, not anything to laugh or what, just goes to show how much bond they have. (': After this was the Power cheer -inserts the muscle here- VIKINGS GOT TO GO LAST OH YEAH! most of the tribes did more than the emcees asked for which was 3. hahah. we were supposed to do 7 what hahah. screamed like mad. oops i missed out the mass dance part, i did with ZQ. think it's after the performances and the remaining skit was after the performance. lucky i'm recording em' down now. phew. memory degenerating. 

 

special badge given only to campers this year since it's the 10th red camp!! WOOHOOO.

Dinner was Pizza hut and mars bars! (: so nice np (': apple juice too!

 

Hey Jeremy! You've been an awesome Student Leader and thanks for being so amusing and helpful. i won't ever forgot what you say 'time to lepak at one corner.' heheh. I hope i can be your junior in your course next year. Aiya we two same luh eye bags super heavy. Asian eyes, HAHAHA. You'll always remain as a awesome and friendly Charlie and i hope i can be your angel kiddo too. hahah.<3 class="separator" p="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">

 

Hey Daryl, yes you're my kor kor! (good friend in Russian right?) haha you come across to me as a amusing and funny SL who like to joke around and have fun. All the best! (:

 

Hey Matthew! Thanks for being such a great emcee for Red Camp 10! yay to you being a ex Viking, woohoo! (: i find you really cute with looks similar to Ji Sukjin from running man hahah. thanks for leading the campers in red camp 10 the red camp cheer. Understand it isn't east being an emcee so yay thanks so much for the last 3 days!! (:

 

Hey Sonia! You're so cute i can't even haha. (x You are the first SL i spoke to in red camp and an awesome SL of sub tribe 2! (: Hope to see you soon in sub tribe outings. <3 p="">

 

Hey Viking Mascot, you were awesome in the skit! (: thanks for the great performance! (:

Hey Cedrick, i'm sorry if your name is spelled wrongly! Can't seem to find you on instagram and i only know your name. ): You're really cute and nice to have observed my name on my shirt and to even dance with me for mass dance on the first day. Yeap you might not remember me but i will remember you cos you made me feel comfortable and welcomed in red camp 10! I will miss the fun we had and i hope you get rested since Red Camp must have tired you out cos you were asking if i was tired that day. HAHA. you may not be the SL under my subtribe but thanks for everything! (: <3 class="separator" p="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">

 

Hey Centurion Mascot, great performance you have put forward always trying to go into other peoples' pants. HAHAHA. and your pride. haha.

 

 

Hey Wei Tian, thanks for making Red Camp 10 a success and ensuring it runs smoothly. you're so cute haha. (: <3 br="">

 

Hey Devika! i feel that you got a really unique name and you're really cute and pretty! ^^ you are also very enthusiastic when you lead sub tribe 2. (: <3 p="">

 

I will miss the CC. argh i didn't get a picture of the Viking entrance.

 

RED CAMP 10 CAMPERS!!!! (:

 

BEST PIC! <3>

I'll miss you loads red camp 10. you're by far the most awesome camp i went out of the so many camps I've been too.

 

Once a Viking, always a Viking! ;D

 

 

It's seems like it has been decades since I last posted. HAHAH. And since my blog is locked and requires permission. I shall just post some thoughts of mine...

136 DAYS to O Levels, really no time left. This June holidays is for me to catch up. i'll start work from tomorrow on, enough of resting. time to review my stuff and catch up loads to get the desired 20 marks for prelim 2. Go to God if i'm weary, self reminder.. (:

Today loads happened. And it made me wanna post a post about them. It's the june holidays but we have NOLPP so yeah back in school. Everything went well, I guess. Other than me being a LITTLE tired at the start. But yeah tomorrow is the last day and i'll be able to take a breather, no need to wake up that early. yay a little. just a little.

after school, tuition. I was trying to memorise something for oral SO HARD, effects of no foundation in Chinese. HAHA. I had Gongcha to suffer with me too. (:

Valerie was like asking me if I had stoves, ofc I don't. and I offered to pay for them. which I thought was okay. to help them since they seem to have much troubles looking for them. then I went to tell huimin and I think she kinda looked at it from a different perspective I thought it wasn't right. which I thought later, yeah maybe it wrong to pay from my own pocket. one mistake there. apologised to her and yeah messaged val abt it. /: money can't really solve it all right?

next.

on whatsapp. my class group. there were arguments. and they were really heated. two to make things worse. was so affected that yeah I came here to share a little.

the first one was in Chinese. yeah both one had bottled up feelings and just blurted out everything as sorrows. another, the defensive and maybe, the patriotic one. so there were like spams on it and they were both arguing and whatever see what happens in school tomorrow and all blah blah. and it all just started with someone being really poetic. THAT'S ALL. and just curiosity and then led to some misunderstandings and yeah bam, the conflict.

MY POINT IS. why must A be so curious and ask so much. yea it is nice to be curious sometimes. but then why continue and even aggravate matters and continue talking when B was irritated alr. Not entirely A's fault but yeah I know A personally and i'm like having an internal conflict within me. about my friendship with A. It 's like you like someone for one side and detest the other. yes there should be compromise but it's like getting me a little irked. is there even such a word? O: and A clearly knows B's temper. so B went on scolding and expressing his dissatisfaction while A keeps raking the past and point out B's flaws. ENOUGH CAN?!

and the first caused the second. C came in and said it was nothing cos C didn't understand and thought it was just some usual convo. which it wasn't. and D came in a got C to keep quiet. and blah they started arguing on the class group. ofc it may be none of my business but i'm just wondering if the convenience brought by the mobile, is it really our saviour or foe? causing such conflicts.

now at least I feel much better......

was thinking of stopping it with some of my input but no. I better not, to make matters worse.

A's my close friend sorta. yeah and these days i'm really sad and depressed over my Chinese o level cos I thought I didn't really do it well. I was super affected and A keeps saying i'm too overly concerned. and yeah A said  something that kinda got at me a little, but yeah I chose to be not affected by it. but I really reflected on it. true it's stupid to cry over split milk but i'm just worried for my results at least. enough, I shall focus and do exceptionally well for oral and LC.  ;D

hey my blog can really help me feel better huh? maybe God will help me even more. and I trust that he would. okay sleeping time!

-Breathes-
I'm cool~ Awesome.
maybe not...
I AM!

Rachel Tay
6/6/2013 cool date! ;)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN PEEPLE! xD

Rachel Tay

IT"S HAS BEEN LONG SINCEI UPDATEDD! :D MISS YOU LOADS. haha, it applies to everyone. :D O: i'm still awake, so randomly posting. xD A FACT : ILOVEJUSTINBIEBER! JB SWAGGGG! Okay, back to normal font.. (: He's so awesome kkay! maybe i'll put a picture at the end later. He inspires 9millions beliebers, i'm one of them.. (: I was so happy that he was at singapore on the 19th April! :DDD Hope he consider Singapore for his tours in future.  He might not notice me one day, but who knows, NEVERSAYNEVER! :D how i wish i lived in US or Europe or smth. Alomost all his merchandise start selling there. And very little come to Sg. D: NEVERSAYNEVER the movie was awesome (Y) "There's gonna be times where people tell you that you can't live your dreams. This is what I tell them: Never say never. " Inspiring huh? never give up! watch nsn3d and one will change his/her opinion of him. (: God bless @justinbieber wherever he is, whenever especially now he is sick. He is my brother of christ, since we have a wonderful and amazing God. I REGRETTED NOT BUYING THE CONCERT TEE OKAY! BIEBER.. D: He kills every concert! I'm gonna get the NSN DVD <3 NSNWEEKEND! ^^ my birthday is coming soon! hope i can get JB stuff haha. it's not how long you are a belieber but if you would support him throughout ;stuck in the moment ;down to earth ;never say never ;next to you ;eenie meenie ;first dance ;onetime ;one less lonely girl ;overboard ;that should be me ;Love me ;U smile ;bigger ;born to be somebody ;common denominator ;baby Well this post is dedicated to all beliebers even if you don't see it and most importantly, JUSTINDREWBIEBER! \m/ <3 <3 <3
it's from my cam! :D


Gtgs, Leggo^^
Rachel Tay (once a belieber, always a belieber)
<3